John Kassir Ornament Tutorial
This one comes from your good friends over at Crypt Creepers, and while it doesn’t do anything to help Ol’ John get a boat, it’s a great way to celebrate the joy that raspy voice has brought you for years and years to come.
This ornament was inspired by Roman Catholic religious icons byway of kitschy mid century DIY holiday decor. It feels like something you’d find in a creepy gothic cathedral’s Christmas church basement bazaar (or maybe even bizarre) in between to ziplock bags of cherry winks and crocheted Kleenex box covers.
Supplies
1 Kassir ornament image printed on glossy photo paper, which can find here
2 pieces of felt in complementary colors (we used a rich evergreen for the front and black for the back)
2 gold sparkly pipe cleaners
Some festive twine or string for hanging
Tools
Scissors
Hot glue gun
Instructions
Plug in your hot glue gun, and while it heats up cut out your Kassir ornament image following the red line.
Using the hot glue, affix your image to the felt you want on the front of your ornament. Make sure to leave at least ½ inch of felt all the way around the image
Following the red line, carefully outline the image with hot glue and attach your pipe cleaners to form a frame.
Glue the second color of felt to the back of the ornament, making sure leave unglued space at the top so you can sandwich your hanging string between the felt pieces in the last step
Once the glue is dry, trim through both layers of felt so that only a ¼ inch of felt extends beyond the pipe cleaner frame
Cut and tie your hanging string into a loop with a slip knot and then sandwich it between the felt in the middle of the top of the ornament. Pump some hot glue into this space to hold
Hang and enjoy!
Feminist Gift Guide
From Space Bras, a fantastic feminist gift guide for all the ladies, gentlemen, and non-binary folks in your life
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Brandy Slush Recipe
Rounding things out, Categorical Oracle is truly bringing you the spirit of Christmas in the form of one of our favorite Wisconsin traditions, super-boozy brandy slush!
Ingredients
5 Cups Water
4 Bags of Black Tea
1 Cup Sugar
16 oz Frozen Lemonade Concentrate
16 oz Frozen Orange Juice Concentrate
2 Cups Brandy
Ginger Beer
Equipment
Empty Gallon Ice Cream Container
Directions
Boil 2 cups water
Steep tea in said water for 10 min
Boil the other 3 cups of water
Pour those 3 cups into an empty gallon ice cream container
Stir in sugar, let it dissolve
Stir in lemonade concentrate, orange juice concentrate, and brandy
Remove tea bags, pour tea into the bucket
Stir
Freeze overnight, ideally outside in a snow bank
Scoop into glasses, top off with ginger beer, have a great time!